Diana Darby ** "I V" ** Intravenous

My Illusion

Andrea and Sara broke up.
So did Steve and Molly.
And Brad and Jen.
Why is it that the couples I think are perfect together
always break up
and the couples that me seem like they’re completely wrong
for each other stay together?
I don’t get it.
Are the mismatched better at juggling their personalities?
Or do they just demand less from each other?
Maybe they never had much of a real bond
so they’re both happy in their mediocrity.
They just pass each other on their way to work,
wave,
fuck every Saturday night,
have 1.2 children
and call it a day.
I don’t get it.
I thought Andrea and Sara would be together forever.
Last fall when we saw them at a restaurant in Italy,
they shared pasta,
just like they did in that scene from The Lady and the Tramp.
He fed her linguine off of his fork.
She touched his leg under the table.
I sat there watching them,
imagining the children they would have.
imagining their growing old together.
Now I find out they’ve split up.
He’s moved into a separate house.
And I don’t know where she is.
And I don’t understand.
I want them all to sit in a room with me
and tell me everything.
All the dirt.
The jealousy.
The arguments.
The late night waiting up for the other to come home.
I want them to make me understand
that I was wrong about them.
That I didn’t see what I thought I saw.
I want them to give me back
my illusion.