Zelma

Dear Zelma,
on the kitchen floor.
Are you sick?
Did you know that today is Tuesday
and the yardmen are coming with their blowers
and rakes?
Oh, Zelma,
I am leaving for Chicago soon,
off to eat linguine and clams
and scones from Sophia’s.
Remember them?
She baked the lavender right in with the berries?
I can still hear the rain.
How hard it came down
on the sidewalks that August day.
Sophia standing there with her broom,
shoveling water out of her bakery.
We rolled our pants legs up and walked down the sidewalk
barefoot
like a couple of kids,
laughing,
letting our shirts get drenched.
Your hair was long then
and fell down your back in perfect waves.
I marveled at your beauty,
but never told you.
We shared a Coke on a park bench
and watched the water lap at the shore.
Oh, Zelma,
December is coming,
then Christmas,
and you know what that means,
all the crap that comes with it.
I want a camera this year,
one with a long lens so I can take pictures of everything.
Mother always said I was like that,
didn’t want to miss a thing.
Oh, Zelma,
please get up.
Tomorrow we'll have pie.

Don't Go There

If I don’t begin now,
it won’t happen.
The phone will ring,
or I’ll wander on to the internet,
or a bill will arrive that will leave me spinning for hours.
It’s already happening.
I just heard the “ding” of an email.
Now, my mind is starting to wander,
like a chocoholic at a Brownie Festival.
I start the mental negotiations:
“I’ll just check this one little email.”
Or, “it’s probably trash. It’ll only take a second to delete it.”
Then before you know it,
I’m on Facebook,
comparing my life to everyone else’s,
and I’m checking the market,
and I’m calling my mother,
and I’m calling my boyfriend,
and I’m doing the laundry,
and I’m running an errand,
and then it’s five o’clock,
and I’m making dinner,
and I’m watching the Evening News,
and then it’s ten o’clock,
and I’m tired and nothing,
absolutely,
no writing got done for the day.
And then I turn off the computer,
and I feel disgusted,
and I tell myself
tomorrow will be different,
and when it isn’t different I am even more depressed.
And so it goes.
So this morning,
I’m not checking,
I’m not calling,
I’m not looking,
I’m not washing.
I’m just sitting at my desk with myself
and watching where I go.

Dragon Girl

The dragon in me
is always ready,
to share my sheets.
He is the beast of my thoughts,
envious
of others I entertain.
Ready to scream and splinter my flesh,
a messenger full of pistachios and blood.
He brightens my pulse
and breathes upon my neck with his hot hot breath
till my body sweats
cold.
If I could tame this dragon
I would be
bored.
If I could tame this dragon
I would be,
somebody else.
So I say to him,
“come, dragon.”
Come lie upon my bed
and sing your wretched song.
Sing it loud.
Sing it so the neighbors hear.
I am yours to take.
A naughty schoolgirl
waiting to be spanked.
Oh, dragon, of mine,
come and watch the rain with me,
the beautiful rain.
I will pour you cocoa
and we will eat scones filled with Devonshire cream
and honey.
And I will not complain
that you are too rough.
I will listen to your fierceness,
and guard it,
loving it forever.
I will take you out into the garden
and watch you crush lilacs in your claws
and I will watch the petals fall to the ground,
like purple rain.
And I will never forget you,
even when I am too old
to hear
you roar.

Dead Birds and Garlic

This is important,
like working hard
or beans with garlic.
I know,
you think you’ve heard it before.
Cheap nest
and dead birds,
and wallpaper with little roses on it
no one wants to pull down.
But this is different.
This is Hollywood.
You know,
Tinseltown.
The Biz.
This is where it all happens.
The sand and the glamour.
Silicone valleys and breasts.
Old women with shopping carts living in Santa Monica,
riddled by the sun,
still clutching their eight by ten glossies in their hands
while reciting lines to imaginary casting directors.
I know,
one of them lived in my laundry room.
She used to pee in the sink.
I’d come in and find her sitting in an old metal chair
with her face painted up like an insane clown.
Black clothes and ripped stockings on her feet,
wreaking of urine.
She’d tell me she was here for the reading.
“What reading?”, I’d say
“Gone with the Wind,” she’d gurgle.
“Oh," I’d say, “they’re casting for that next door.”