Diana Darby ** "I V" ** Intravenous

The Truth

The truth is I feel alone,
lonely,
and very much forgotten.
Inside
my stomach feels
empty
yet full of
giant rocks
of sorrow.
I feel unhappy
like I have been standing on the street corner
with a cup in my hands and no one has stopped to put anything in.
I keep approaching the same people
asking them to fill it for me
like the little boy in Oliver,
“please sir, may I have some more.”
And when they leave I still feel empty.
I miss my mother,
and my father,
and talking with them
and having them understand what I am saying.
I miss my friends in Los Angeles,
and walking on the beach,
and being able to stand outside without being bitten by mosquitoes.
I miss feeling loved by a man
and having the first words that come out of his mouth
in the morning be,
“I love you.”
I miss feeling safe in this world,
(Well, I’ve never had that)
but I miss feeling like this world will be o.k.
because I don’t feel that now.
I miss feeling hopeful
like anything can happen.
I miss
my dreams
and knowing I can make them come true.
I miss me.