Diana Darby ** "I V" ** Intravenous

Dude

It happened again.
This time it was a twenty-something guy
with a ponytail who gives colonics in Bellevue.
He stopped me on my way out of the grocery store
and asked if he could talk to me for a minute.
He had a notepad he was writing on
on the table in front of him
so I thought maybe he was doing a survey.
He shook my hand and said his name was "Thor"
or "Heat" or something like that.
He asked my name and I told him.
He said he noticed my energy in the store.
I wasn't sure if he noticed good energy or bad energy.
He didn't tell me.
He asked me what I had in my bag for him.
I told him "umeboshi plum vinegar".
He said, "cool".
I told him I eat macrobiotically.
He asked me if that was my "thing",
my "gift to the world."
I said, "no, I just like to eat that way."
He sat there looking at me with one eye going
one direction and the other going the other direction.
He was freaking me out.
Three tables down another guy was eating his dinner
watching us
like he were watching a bad reality t.v. show.
After a long pause he asked,
"Do you have a do?"
"A do?" I asked.
"No, a dude."
"A dude?"
Yes, I said, I do.
Then I laughed.
He asked me what was so funny
and I told him this was the second time today
a guy in this grocery store had come on to me.
He seemed stunned he wasn't the first.
I said goodbye and walked away.
There must be something in the air.
Either that
or I'm in heat.