Diana Darby ** "I V" ** Intravenous

Nightfall (for Arthur)

I feel like I’m in a cage,
a long 1800 square foot cage.
A 1950’s ranch cage
with pink tile bathrooms
and all the shades pulled down
like I were some kind of Howard Hughes recluse.
I feel like I'm in solitary confinement,
only the food is better
and I’ve got a good mattress.
I’d try to get out,
but every time I open the door
I get knocked back by this heat that
feels like I’ve just opened the gates to Hell.
Even the dog won’t go out to pee.
He’s holding it till nightfall
he says.
So here we are,
he and I,
in this birth canal of a house,
waiting.
The dog doesn’t seem to mind.
He’s content to lie down in the front window
by the air conditioning vent
and sleep his life away until
dinner.
But me,
I feel stagnant.
I want to run.
I want to move.
I want to feel like I’m getting somewhere
in my life.
Everywhere I turn
people are dying.
And it scares me.
I don’t want to end up dead
before I ever become who I was meant to be.