Diana Darby ** "I V" ** Intravenous

Whatever Is Is

My mother used to always say,
whatever is is
and whatever isn’t isn’t.
I used to hate that expression because it did nothing to alleviate my fear.
But today I am trying to live by that very expression.
I am trying to live in the present,
in the black and white
and not let my head spin off into what if’s ,
what might be’s,
and what could have been’s.
It all becomes too complicated.
Too hazy.
Too grey.
Too terrible.
After my appointment with the dermatologist,
I turned to my sister,
the family doctor, for comfort and a second opinion.
She told me I was being a worry wart.
She said she doesn’t ever worry.
Well, maybe if someone told her she had Cancer
she might get worried,
but that’s about it.
I hung up the phone and realized she was right.
Gruff, as usual,
but right.
I am a worry wart.
And I spend way too many hours contemplating
and thinking
and re-thinking,
and Googling.
And the truth is it gets me nowhere.
All I can do,
is do the best I can do
and let God,
or nature,
or the magic tree fairies,
take care of the rest.
If I run out of money,
I’ll get another job.
If I have something wrong with me
I’ll get it taken care of.
If the house doesn’t sell, I’ll rent it.
If my lover leaves me,
I’ll survive.
The truth is,
the only thing I have to handle is this moment.
And today,
right now,
the sun is shining.