Diana Darby ** "I V" ** Intravenous

Long Gone

How stupid I was
to have lamented your leaving
even for a second.
The truth is,
I never loved you.
In the shower,
when you touched me,
I only pretended to moan
because I knew it was what you wanted to hear.
And in bed,
it was the same.
I gave you what you wanted,
when you wanted.
Your reward for pages written
was my mouth,
my thighs,
my cunt.
But you weren’t really touching me.
I
was long gone.
I
was
somewhere circling the room,
a headless body
floating,
too scared to look,
too scared to feel.
You see,
I left you first.