Diana Darby ** "I V" ** Intravenous

Better Than Normal

It’s four o’clock
and I want coffee.
I want to jack myself up
like an old car getting it’s tire changed.
I want to feel the rush of speed
coursing through my veins.
I want to get off.
I want the cream on my lips
and the mocha in my mouth.
I want the sensation of hot and cold
and sweet swirling around inside of me
like Fred Astaire.
I want to feel better
than normal.
I want to feel caffeinated.
And I want to feel it now.
But it’s too late.
I can’t touch the stuff
past noon
or I can’t sleep at night.
I am four hours too late.
I am into the dead zone now,
the time when I have to force my eyes to stay awake
on their own
without the aid of anything
stimulating.
No chocolate.
No green tea.
No coffee.
Just water and club soda
for me.
I’m sensitive.
Fuck sensitive.
I want some coffee.