Diana Darby ** "I V" ** Intravenous

Taking The Sun

I get scared about what’s going to happen to me.
I get scared about money
and if I will have enough
and that I have too much.
I worry that I don’t spend my days the way God wants me to.
I worry
that I worry too much.
I think about my life and I panic
over all the things I haven’t accomplished yet.
I’m not married and I don’t have children.
But then again,
neither does Oprah
and she seems to be doing alright.
But it’s not just that,
it’s more that feeling that somewhere in the last few decades I lost my way.
The ship I was supposed to be sailing left without me
and now I feel like I am in the ocean treading water,
just trying to keep my head from going under.
I am watching the ship sail off into the sunset without me
and I am helpless to try and stop it.
No matter how loud I scream
STOP
it just keeps going,
taking the sun along for the ride.
It is getting dark.
I pray that I won’t get eaten by a shark.
I feel the cold dark water all around me,
numbing my hands and feet,
chilling my stomach to the core.
It is an awful feeling.
It is the feeling of death.
I want to get back in the boat.
I want to get back on course.
But I am alone.
I am completely alone.