Diana Darby ** "I V" ** Intravenous

I am a Vegetarian

Somewhere
I
lost
sight
of myself.
The downward descent of
ebb and flow,
the marker that keeps one
reaching
for the right path.
This year has been
my mother,
my back.
Weeks lost
to plane trips and lawsuits.
Months spent on grief
and the fear of permanent loss.
Where did I go?
The Jew
wandering through the desert
in search of the promised land.
Today
I sit in a room full of children
and try to get them to listen.
A Herculean task to say the least,
and I am not Hercules,
but a mouse
running from boy to girl
trying to dole out markers and crayons
while they poke each other
and laugh.
I was told I had to be tougher,
meaner,
but I do not like to yell.
My throat doesn’t know how to scream.
So where can I go?
Where can I go,
a silent muted girl
walking home after school with her books
so alone,
so alone.
The pushers,
the stealers,
the grabbers,
they seem to get what they want.
Just like in the time of the dinosaurs,
the plant eaters were eaten.
And I am
a vegetarian.