Diana Darby ** "I V" ** Intravenous

My Mother The Dog

She wants to be a dog.
She wants to bark at other dogs
and pee on inappropriate things
like beds and rugs.
She speaks of Jesus Christ
and Roman Catholics
and asks me if I am married
and how old I am now,
and if my sister will ever find anyone to love.
She doesn’t know her age anymore,
or why she is in the hospital.
She tells me “I am ruining everything”
when I call
and speaks to me in whispers
and tells me to run.
When I ask her run from what?
She says,
just run.
She worries about the two green lights on the wall.
“If they go out, I’ll die, ”she says.
We talk about them for over an hour.
I keep trying to reassure her they mean nothing
like a parent trying to convince a child
there is no monster under the bed,
but nothing I say does any good.
Even when she tells me she’s o.k. about the dots,
I know she is lying.
I keep hoping that I’ll call one morning
and she will be back,
back the way she was.
Nasty
and abusive
and telling me my boyfriend is no good.
But each morning when I call
she’s the same.
Staring at those two green lights
waiting for them to go out.