Diana Darby ** "I V" ** Intravenous

Deja Vu

All weekend we cleaned house.
I started in the bathroom
cleaning out drawers.
I found Benadryl from 2002,
expired Wal-tussin,
a filthy ice bag,
and condoms that were no longer safe.
I threw out hundreds of beauty samples I had gotten from Wild Oats and DHC
along with baby oil, petroleum products,
and shampoo with SLS.
I got rid of the Burt’s Bees Body Lotion
and the fancy lavender seaweed body splash
I got as a wedding souvenir five years ago.
I pretty much got rid of everything I couldn’t bear to get rid of
the last time we cleaned out the bathroom
(Which, judging from the dates on the pill bottles,
was about three years ago.)
This time getting rid of things was much easier.
Maybe it’s because I just cleared out my mother’s house
and the similarities between our bathroom drawers
was frightening.
She had drawers stuffed with old lipsticks.
So did I.
She had free gifts from Clinique.
So did I.
She had expired drugs and Valium.
So did I.
I couldn’t help but wonder if this way of living is learned
or if it is inherited
like brown eyes or fat ankles.
Either way,
I don’t want to be my mother.
And I'm happy to dump out every drawer
in my house
just to prove that I'm not.