Diana Darby ** "I V" ** Intravenous

The White Rabbit

I have lost myself.
Like a rabbit in the woods,
my head has been snapped and turned by the sound
of others.
I have become lost and can’t find my way home.
It is easy to do,
when you follow another’s trail
and leave your own behind.
I went walking and laughing and found myself
alone.
You on your path,
me,
left behind
wondering
where I am now.
I followed the breath of you,
your kiss,
your touch,
your voice,
and when the words were not what I wanted to hear
I didn’t know I could listen to my own.
I thought you would lead me out
with your eyes.
So I shut mine
until I lost my own sight.
Now I am in the dark
wondering how it got to be so dark,
wondering how I got to be where I am.
I do not know what I think,
or how I feel,
or where the ground is beneath my feet.
I only know there is not a me.
I am scared to walk,
to move,
to breathe,
to find my way back,
to wherever back is.
For too long now,
whenever you were quiet,
I felt the need to sound,
to help,
to waken.
I thought there was something wrong with me
when you stopped telling me I was beautiful.
I believed your silence.
Now I know
I have been listening to the wrong voices
and searching for a way out
of the rabbit’s maze
by following the White Rabbit.