Diana Darby ** "I V" ** Intravenous

A Reprieve

I am looking for a reprieve,
a respite,
Somewhere to escape the chaos
of them.
My life is trips to the JCC,
poker days,
senior fitness morning,
and aqua for arthritis.
I am trying to be the good daughter,
trying to cook their meals,
and do their laundry,
but they are an uphill battle
impossible to climb.
My father gripes when I ask him to help
with any cleaning at all.
My mother walks down the hall
barking at her own shadow
convinced she hasn’t taken her pills
when she has.
My mind is a maze of “what if’s?”
What if they could live independently with a maid
and someone coming by to give them medicines?
Would that be cheaper than assisted living?
Or is it completely out of reach?
And in another year?
My father is worsening,
unable to find my house when it is only three blocks away.
They are a terrifying proposition.
Everything I do is met with gripery.
So now I am at a coffee house
just trying to breathe,
just trying to feel
whatever it is I used to feel
before they arrived.