Diana Darby ** "I V" ** Intravenous

Ignoring The War

They’re seeing it at 1:30 today.
God I hope they like it.
I want to be done with it.
I want someone else to buy it
and own it and have it
and fix it up to “their specifications.”
whatever those may be.
I’m sick of thinking about it.
I just want it over with.
Like that pile of papers on my spare bed
that never seems to get sorted.
I want it to be someone else’s problem.
The pool and the yard and the leaky faucet.
I want to cut it off like a dead limb
and hope I won’t feel it after it’s gone.
I want to box up the Caesar Palace ash trays,
and the Avon lip balm ,
and the crystal Kennedy bowl
and sit on the blue carpet and try to remember
happy times,
if there were any.
I want my mother to walk up and down the halls
and turn off the lights,
and tell me for the three thousandth time
how she wanted to build this house
but my father never did.
And how she was right
and how he was lucky he made money in the ‘70’s
in the Houston real estate market.
I want to sit in the closet
with my dolls
like I did when I was six
and play pretend,
and try to ignore the war
outside my door.
I want to lock the front door for the very last time
and never drive down
that street
again.